News Source: www.knoxnews.com
Shopper Blog: Worlds collide at wedding
News Source/Courtesy: www.knoxnews.com

A long time ago, when my husband and I were newlyweds living in a dumpy apartment outside Chicago, we had a party. I invited all my college friends who had settled in the area and my husband invited his friends from high school and beyond.

We had visions of sharing appetizers and childhood stories. We thought there would be board games and lots of laughs. Instead, my college roommate, Julie, got in an argument with one of my husband’s friends and everyone stormed out of our apartment in an angry huff.

It was the worst party I’ve ever attended, let alone hosted. And after that terrible night, my husband vowed never to friend mix again. Ever. And for the most part, we’ve kept that solemn vow.

But this past weekend, our youngest son, Ethan, married his college sweetheart, Amanda, and we started friend-mixing in ways we haven’t done since that fateful night 35 years ago. And Julie was there. With trepidation and vivid memories from our party gone bad, I started making introductions.

I introduced my best friend from kindergarten to my closest friend from college. Then I presented the two of them to my dear friend from graduate school. Before I knew it, the three of them were mingling with my friends from Knoxville. I watched them cautiously. I wasn’t sure what would happen when all those strong personalities collided.

I felt a moment of panic when Kindergarten met Knoxville. I wondered if spontaneous human combustion was real when College Roomie rode the elevator with Grad School Office Mate. My Worlds were colliding. My mind was blown. I wanted to rejoice and hide all at the same time.

But then Julie made fun of me, and all those people who know me so well burst out laughing. They all got the joke. Then the rest of my friends, old and new, joined in, gently teasing me. The way only good friends can.

The kind of friends who know which parts of you are OK to poke and which subjects should be avoided. The kind of friends who know you so well that you don’t take offense when they tease you. Because you trust them. Because their love has been constant for so long. Because they see all your quirks and foibles and have decided to like you anyway.

It was a surprise gift I couldn’t imagine getting on my son’s wedding day. And it was a gift that kept on giving, because it turns out, all those strong women from different stages of my life really liked each other. One after another they found me to say, “I love your friends.” And “I get why you like them.” And best of all, “They could be my friends too.”

Thirty-five years after throwing the world’s worst party, I discovered that friend mixing was never the problem. We were just too young at the time to blend gracefully. Our emotions were too big and too raw. But after all these years, we’ve mellowed and softened. We’ve grown up enough to be at life’s big events without causing a scene.

At the end of the night, I got to watch the most important women in my life hug one another as they exchanged phone numbers and photos. It was a beautiful thing to see in a weekend full of beautiful things.

Leslie Snow may be reached at snow column@aol.com.

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News Source: www.knoxnews.com

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