Some of the stories one hears about weddings and their aftermath makes one not want to go to or accept wedding invitations. Recently, a bride sent a bill of $240 to each person who failed to show up on her wedding day. This cost was the per head charge by the venue organisers, meaning she was telling those who received this bill that she paid for their food and drink but because they didn’t show up they needed to reimburse her for it.

Hang on a minute, I thought that weddings were supposed to be happy occasions and newlyweds tend to enjoy what one might call ‘a honeymoon period’ during which time the couple enjoy travelling, getting to know each other more and generally enjoying each other’s company. It’s also probably the time when they begin planning for their future such as saving for a house, where they would eventually like to live when they have children, the sort of schools they would go to, etc. etc. But, from what I can see, not in this case. In this case, the bride and groom appear to be busily targeting people who didn’t show up at their wedding.

To be honest, I wonder whose fault this is. Is it the guest who failed to show up at the last minute or is it the bride and groom for inviting people who, perhaps, weren’t really their real or close friends? I’m sure it can happen. In the anticipated excitement of your wedding, you want everyone to know you’re getting married and, in that excitement, the chances are you end up adding to your guest list people you barely know or those you haven’t seen in years. And maybe it was just to show everyone you were getting married. Those people were probably surprised at receiving an invitation and half-heartedly accepted it, perhaps fully intending to come because they didn’t want to offend. But at the last minute, either they had a change of heart or something came up but in both cases they either forgot or weren’t able to tell you they weren’t coming. You know, this might indeed be the case if you barely knew each other.

Wedding guest lists tend to be fairly long and the bride and groom, and their parents, don’t always have the time to meet and thank those who attended. I’m sure many guests have gone away not having had the chance to meet the happy couple. The guest list tends to be so long that many guests can be overlooked, feeling almost snubbed by the couple.

So my question is, is it okay for the bride and groom to want to be financially compensated by those on the guest list for non-attendance? I feel not. I wonder what kind of memories they will be creating when they send out a bill straight after they’ve said the vows. The thing is, when you marry, memories of the day are created for you and your new spouse as well as for those who attended, and that is priceless. But do newlyweds really want to be resented by anyone on their guest list, even if they didn’t turn up? By issuing a bill to those who were a no-show is surely creating bad memories for not only those who didn’t attend, and thus received a bill, but for those who did too, because word will get around.

Resentment can also be created in the hearts and minds of the non-attendees because, as far as they’re concerned, they had good reasons for not attending and good reasons for not being able to let you know that they couldn’t come. As far as they’re concerned, you might be just looking to make money.

I don’t get it. I was always under the impression that when a group was booking at a venue, and in the case of a wedding it’s a huge group, some kind of group discount was always factored in to the quote so that if there were some no-shows, they were covered. Surely it’s all factored in just in case some people don’t turn up?

I certainly hope that this does not become a trend. It will have one of two outcomes. Either people on the guest list will force themselves to show up, even if they don’t want to and be resentful throughout the event, just in case they are billed for showing up when they said they would, or some people will just decline because they won’t want to have to deal with a bridezilla.

You know, the whole scenario could be turned on its head by people on the guest list. If a wedding is cancelled because either party decided it was a mistake to marry, then would it be acceptable to the couple to be billed for the expenses incurred by guests to attend? For example, if someone booked a plane ticket, or travelled across the country, to attend, would it be okay to send the bride and groom that bill? I guarantee, that cost is likely to be far higher than the cost of a dinner!